#my thoughts arent even coherent my brain feels like its being twisted around

[wastelandhell]

deranged rambling

[only-lonely-lovers]

08.12.2022

tags: sex dreams, dreams in general

Bird is あ / Avvy is つ

つ：i think the concept of tsukasa being like "there we go. very good" while you come is like a nightmare hanako would have. its been funnny to think about bc it isn't their dynamic. its liek you have an extremely fucked up dream that is inscrutable

あ：lol yeah just something to make you feel really fucked up like -- NO..

つ：hai, hai……

あ：its so funny though bc like again one has incest dreams even when youre a normal person the thought of alive boys ever having them its mutually so funny

つ：yes, they're completely normal. its something i think about. its free childhood incest thoughts no rules no limits

あ：in my mind tsukasa isn't able to parse his as incest he's just like. what a silly little dream i had about amane and the contents arent actually incriminating enough it really is like we're helping each other pee

つ：he's just like ah that was interesting

あ：omoshiroi. that would never happen though.

つ：as much as you have a dream you both eat big caterpillars together off of leafs wooow intresting. i liked that that dream had amane in it

あ：as unfettered about them as one could be amane hasnt been in my dreams for a few days. im glad he is back

つ：amane wakes up more like… woeuhg.. [going to try to willfully forget this. distract with tasks] ugh… weird dream… shakes it off

あ：in a haze sometimes. like wipes drool off of mouth. eugh…. well whatever…. as weird as having dreams where i'm like stuck in this scary old man's sexual carnival like just garbage brain making up shit [represses]

its like overall i think amane just ahs more sex dreams. and sometimes they're nonsense by virtue of having more. just fodder.

つ：i think when you get into the harming phase of their relationship…. it's…. hmm. going to get sicker but I also love the idea of nutting in sleep but the dream wasn't coherently sexual at all

あ：mnnn yeah i think then its a lot more.. visceral, relevant, and stomach twisting

つ：when you have major anxieties repeating all the time it does start to reflect… ah no sad tothink about amane having a lot of dreams tsukasa goes missing again, NOOO

あ：I think emotional stress IRL makes things manifest more coherently in dreams… well, its like it simulates your sense of helplessness etc

having dreams where tsukasa just is very listless and if you let go of his hand for a few minutes he's trying to leave, crawl out windows, like a pet stress dream

つ：probably a lot its his fault, too..... get distracted as one does in dreams.... forget about tsukasa while you're like. tabbing through dolls in an extravagant shop. only remember him existing later like MY-- TSUKASA!!!! NO!!! TSUKASA!!!! RUNNING AROUND THROUGH EVERY BUILDING

あ：dreaming about being in crowds and tsukasa just walks in the opposite direction and he's just gone you blink and you're just like ??? wait. oh NO

つ：dreams of hearing tsukasa just behind a door and opening it and he's not there… desperately opening hundreds of dors…

あ：and calling his name and sometimes you hear "amane" but also like "its fine… im fine…. you dont have to come…" and its just like😭 TSUKASA!!!

つ：the nature of how blissful you were before he disappeared means you can never have just…. security. i imagine dreams would be very cruel and be very WOO HOO BOUNCE HOUSE and then tsukasa gone

when bird can't stop himself from like . forgetting about me or neglecting me in a dream like you just have an extreme memory problem

あ：Noo yeah like i just have this disability almost, I'm just pathologically unable to be more attentive or considerate. Like i fall out of time. Amane just getting so engrossed in tuning his telescope

つ：youre like discovering a new astrological phenomena or some crap or for age 5 youre like seeing. real bunnies on the moon. making a stupid discovery

あ：Lately i keep having dreams where im being so supremely picky about video games like … obsessing about old consoles and getting the right versions of games. but it makes me meaner and shittier somehow like a version of myself thats an eviler nerd. thinking about Amane more or less becoming some goblinized version of self, liek you're staring into your telescope and you FEEL tsukasa's hand tugging you urgently but you slap him dismissively and keep adjusting and when you look up tsukasa's just liek gone His stuff is all scattered on the floor in a mess like he dropped a bunch of stuff and staggered away

つ：you wake up and you. must. let tsukasa do whatever he wants today lead the way… tsukasa PLEAAASE

あ：anything at all roachie So sad, you can really imagine there being bed time distress both at like 4-5 freshly dealing with tsukasa going missing/returning, and then 12-13 as life gets bad

I just think early days there was soo much anxiety to be had also about tsukasa leaving again…. ah, i like to think about them really being prone to waking up in the middle of the night from bad dreams and face snuzz and cuddle… just need the comfort

つ：it had to have been .... the circumstance which really rots them from the inside out..... the act of losing contact, once.....

あ：Its reasonable to, come a little, in your sleep, once in a while. after everything you've been through.

つ：it is completely normal and reasonable.

あ：Sitting here trying to think about what the average random incest dream for Amane is before things get psycho specifically and it's so funny I think he's just like ruined himself from porn. I think it's like I'm jerking off in dream and then Tsukasa is like WHOA let me help. WOW your cock is awesome.... Amane... Impressive, its bigger than mine. wow. WHAO!!1 your come... so cool

つ：ITS GOTT ABE THE WORST WHEN HE'S LIKE TOO DUMB TO HAVE NUANCE OR ACUTE SHAME BUT IS HORNY AND LOOKING AT PORN

あ：like the gormlessness of an amane at some point being like ahah.F GH.F. sh/.. SEX!!!

つ：tsukasa is just there bc he always is and you know him and he is always supportive and down and thinks you are really cool

あ：Yes sjkfdjgh like i think its almost comically like oh let me help you with that. Your hand looks tired brother Just sit back I think some dreams are like. tsukasa wasnt part of the plot but suddenly in the middle of it you know tsukasa

つ：whoa it went really far!!! itslike a normal dream youre like hiding in a closet jerking off but then tsukasa is just there to comment on your cool hog

あ：it's a gormless sex dream like you're going to fuck a big life sized sex doll or something and tsukasa is suddenly here to pull down your pants for you

the random detail in someone's sex nightmare where the machine had to jerk them off to make them erect before cutting it its like wait you need to get hard first.

つ：fkld;sjfsk its sf funny how dreams are procedural and not tasteful HERE I'LL HELP puts dinosar hand puppet on your cock and goes homf homf homf

あ：exactly

つ：butits a dream so youre like fuck it feels so fucking good jesus ive never felt anything this good in my whole life

あ：yes. its also like haphazard and completely abandons plots and changes details for no reason so suddenly its like ahhh i fuck the dinosaur puppets mouth and like THIS is the fetish i was chasing

I actually think itd be funny if Amane's inability to like respect people as individuals means he cannot have sex dreams with strangers so its always some stupid fetish nonsense your mind cannot generate the fantasy of interfacing with people. so instead you really are sooner some panty stealing pervert or like at best peeping into love hotels or something

it's like ahh in this dream im really hornyabout marbles what number is the sexiest

つ：it feels just so feasible you like hear about dinosaurs laying eggs and youre like whoa i forgot dinosaurs would have sex like normal animals [THINKING OF THEM LIKE UNICORNS OR DRAGONS MAGICALLY] . have a dream you guys are playing dinosaurs and tsukasa is like. auhho i wanna have eggs [you are 4 with no understanding of biology] get eggs in me

あ：Please amane screaaaaaa and its like oh god oh christ… gets into the positions

its all crude and like meaningless dream nonsense but the point is its like whoa feels pretty good

つ：dreams can put you through any bullshit and irl youre like coming about it

あ：itd actually be funny to be like older but having a dream about being 4 in the yard again and doing this but older like 8

つ：to have more knowledge. take it again. I know what it means to put egg in you now

あ：the dream wires get mixed up and you start also RPing attacking tsuaksa during it still like bites [tsukasa shrieking]

つ：fighting you….. wrasslin in your grasp

あ：its a dream you really bit through his shirt and there is blood